Old Dogs

A wealthy old Gentleman decides to go on a hunting safari in Africa, taking his faithful, elderly Dog named Killer, along for the company.

One day the old Dog starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he's lost. Wandering about, he notices a leopard heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old Dog thinks,'Oh, oh! I'm in deep trouble now!' Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the leopard is about to leap, the old Dog exclaims loudly, 'Boy, that was one delicious leopard ! I wonder, if there are any more around here?'

Hearing this, the young leopard halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. 'Whew !', says the leopard, 'That was close! That old Dog nearly had me !'

Meanwhile, a monkey who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the leopard. So, off he goes, but the old Dog sees him heading after the leopard with great speed, and figures that something must be up.

The monkey soon catches up with the leopard, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the leopard.

The young leopard is furious at being made a fool of and says, 'Here, monkey, hop on my back and see what's going to happen to that conniving canine !

Now, the old Dog sees the leopard coming with the monkey on his back and thinks, 'What am I going to do now?', but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn't seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old Dog says :

 'Where's that damn monkey? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another leopard !'

Moral of this story....

Don't mess with old dogs... age and skill will always overcome youth and treachery ! Bullshit and brilliance only come with age and experience !

Laugh

* C Program to propose to a girl (valentines day gift)*

/*C Program to propose to a girl */

#include "STDISD.h"
#include"love.h"
#define Cute beautiful_lady

main()
{
goto college;
scanf("100%",&ladies);

if(lady ==Cute )
line++;
while( !reply )
{

printf("I Love U");

scanf("100%",&reply);

}

if(reply == "GAALI")
main(); /* go back and repeat the process */

else if(reply == "SANDAL ")
exit(1);



else if(reply == "I Love U")
{
lover =Cute ;
love = (heart*)malloc(sizeof(lover));
}

goto restaurant;

restaurant:
{
food++;
smile++;
pay->money = lover->money;
return(college);
}

if(time==2.30)
goto cinema;

cinema:
{
watch++;
if(intermission)
{
coke++;
Popecorn++;

}
}

if(time ==6.00)
goto park;

park:
{
for(time=6.30;time<=8.30;time+=0.001) kiss = kiss+1; } free(lover); return(home); if(time ==9.30) goto pub; pub: { friends++; party++; booze++; smoke++; if(pub.close()) { pay->bill;
come->out;
}
}

if (highly->intoxicated)
goto friendsroom;
else
{
sweetpan++;
polo++;
goto home;
}

friendsroom:
{
goto sleep;
}

home:
{
if(mom.shouts())
{
reason=(combinedstudy || projectwork || friendsbday);
say->reason;
}
if(dad.shouts())
shut->yourmouth;

call->lover;
if(phone->voice==(lover_dad->voice || lover_mom->voice))
{
hang++;
}
else if(phone->voice==lover->voice)
{
for(time=12:30;time<=1.30;time+=0.001) { say->ILuvU;
scanf("100%",&reply); /* "I Love U" already stored in reply */
}
}
goto sleep;
}

sleep:
{
*(dream)=love;
}
}

Top 10 best movie liners ever

1. "I'll be back."
The Terminator

2. "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn!"
Gone with the wind

3. "Get busy livin' or get busy dyin'. (That's goddamn right.)"
The Shawshank redemption

4. "Hasta la vista, baby."
Terminator 2: Judgement Day

5. "(But you don't understand, Osgood. Uh, I'm a man.) Well, nobody's perfect!"
Some like it hot

6. "Dave, this conversation can serve no purpose anymore. Goodbye."
2001: A space odyssey

7. "Goodbye, Mr. Bond."
Goldfinger

8. "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tanhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time like tears in rain. Time to die."
Blade runner

9. "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!"
Top heat

10. "Fuh-get about it!"
Donnie Brasco

Funny story

A mechanic was removing the cylinder heads from the motor of a car when
he spotted the famous heart surgeon in his shop, who was standing off
to the side, waiting for the service manager to come to take a look at
his car. The mechanic shouted across the garage,"Hello Doctor! Please
come over here for a minute." The famous surgeon, a bit surprised, walked
over to the mechanic. The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on
a rag and asked argumentatively, "So doctor, look at this. I also open
hearts, take valves out, grind 'em, put in new parts, and when I finish
this will work as a new one. So how come you get the big money, when
you and me is doing basically the same work? " The doctor leaned over
and whispered to the mechanic .....
What did he say ???

Guess .


.......
.......
....... ......

.......
.......
.......
He said : "Try to do it when the engine is running''

happiness

Here's a powerful passage on happiness and spiritual practice: ... Even the happiness that we may feel in the jungle will turn into ... Real happiness has to come from within, from having a greater understanding of ourselves. ...